I realized recently that I know this kind of experience - I have this every time everything is falling apart, but just for a moment - in the moment, in now- it doesn't matter if something is falling apart, because in that moment it doesn't exist. I don't know how to explain. in the moment nothing exists but rain or a sound or something like that

for years I thought this experience was some kind of denial but actually it's probably the opposite, the thing I've been searching for 

please don't believe anything I think

matki, babcie i prababcie, ale i ojciec sie załapal ostatnio,

I można tak bez końca [...]. Ale mniejsza z karmą i uwikłaniami do siódmego wstecz, bo później jest legenda i mroczne knieje niepamięci (ustaw Adama i Ewę i niech ten obraz pracuje [...] 

(j)

exactly

how did your face look like before your parents were born?
before people were born

I see a fucking dinosaur's face.
but what about the time before that

how absurd is that.